Performed by my old band, West of Arizona, this was a little comic ditty originally written by me and set to music by Jonathan Jordan. Later, drummer David Mathieu added the third verse, which I though filled out the song nicely. It had died from our setlist shortly after our first CD was released. (I don't think Jonathan liked it all that much...)
My doctor wants to lock me up:
He says I'm some kind of paranoid freak,
But I don't believe him:
I think he's out to get me.
I'd like to change my life around
And leave this town this week,
But the other guy inside my head
Won't let me.
Don't look at me like I'm insane,
You know it's nothing like that
It's just that someone took my marbles away
And I'm in no real hurry to get them back.
My girlfriend left me a week ago,
She said I'd lost my mind.
I thought about it, but I still don't know
What got her so uptight.
We were getting ready to go to a party
And she asked me how she looked,
So I checked her both out and told her
That I preferred the one on the right.
I don't know what she was talking about
As she was packing, getting ready to leave.
Saying something about a rubber room
And having me fitted for a jacket with wraparound sleeves.
The judge he says to lock me up
He says I'm wanted in three states
But the only states in which I've been
Are altered
I think it's a conspiracy
To keep me off the streets
The judge's name was Amelia
And the bailiff was Hoffa
Don't look at me like I'm insane
I'm not responsible for what I sing
Excuse me, did you say your name was Elvis?
Have you ever thought about running for King?
If you're supposed to humor the loonies,
You'd best be ready to humor me
Because I'm just about ready to step on over the line.
And one more thing you should remember
Before you throw away that key,
Is that paranoid psychotic manic-depression is just a state of mind
To me. . .